Halloween Date Policy

Henceforth, to avoid the annual confusion, Halloween will be on the last non-rainy, non-cold, non-Sunday day in October, or the first such day in November, unless that be Election Day in an even-numbered year, in which case Halloween will be celebrated on the first such day after Election Day, unless that day falls after the end of Daylight Saving Time. In that case it will be pushed back to the first Saturday with good weather so that trick-or-treating can begin an hour before sunset. 

In the event that no appropriate Saturdays occur before Thanksgiving, children will be expected to dress as turkeys and roam their neighborhoods after lunch on Thursday handing out leftovers in exchange for candy. Alternatively, at their discretion, families may opt to leave bags full of 2-month-old candy out on Christmas Eve for Santa to scatter randomly onto the floors of houses he visits.